improving, and maybe figuring it all out?

I recently read Better than Before by Gretchen Rubin, and have been thinking a lot about the dichotomies and tendencies she discusses. Based on her criteria I am a:

Questioner

Simplicity lover

Finisher

Abstainer

Underbuyer

Sprinter

I think I’m also a serial goal setter – which isn’t really one of her dichotomies, but explains my desire for endless rounds of W30 and marathon training. Her concept of the Questioner tendency really resonated with me. I will follow a rule explicitly if (and only if) it makes sense to me. But if it makes sense to me, I’m all in.

The abstainer mentality also resonates, and I’m thinking about how I can maximize this. My abstaining generally aligns with my serial goal setting. I have no problem abstaining from my problem foods when I’m on. But when I’m off, I’m off. What would happen if I never went off, if there were just things I didn’t eat. Ever. Or only on very special occasions. I think I could live like that. I think redefining myself as someone who just doesn’t eat bread or sugar or dairy could work. I don’t have a visceral “oh shit” response when I think of that. I think that it would make my life easier. I wouldn’t have those times when I feel like I have to eat all the candy and pretzels because soon enough I’ll be back ON. I wouldn’t have to think about how much I could have without feeling sick (and I always end up feeling sick, even if I just have a little). I wouldn’t have to go through swings of eliminating everything and feeling great, and then being “normal” and feeling shitty. I would just be someone who eats free range proteins, fruits and vegetables and nuts. I’m not willing to be someone who doesn’t drink ever. So I will drink once a week with very select exceptions. For the rest of my life, not just for 30 or 60 days. This is just how it’s going to be.

and...

I'm still limping. My ankle still hurts. But it gets better each day. I'm cycling, lifting, doing the elliptical, swimming, and going to yoga until they start the standing exercises. I go back to the doctor in a few weeks, and expect to get cleared to go back to PT then.